100% Accurate

I’m in a conversation. We get to the topic of gaming. The dude gets talkin’ so I bring up zombie games. The person tells me that no, they don’t really do much zombie-slaying but play other games like… Games like what, you say? I don’t care, broski. I’m not interested in your cheap Call of Duty or your measly little Halo. So run along children, zombie games are for the REAL men. (And me. I guess I’m included in that group as one of those manly men.)

This has been another incomplete thought pulled from my brain’s bum.

Not Another Review of a Teen Movie: Hunger Games Edition

     Hey all! There are two things you should know at this point: 1.) I’ve been MIA from the WWW for awhile and 2.) this blog is about zombies, not for movie reviews. Well, hold your wild horses for just a moment and let me explain. I like zombies. I like them a lot. I also like books just as much. So, in an attempt to entice you into broadening your own views, zombie enthusiasts, I’m going to review a book-turned-movie I enjoyed. Yes, like the five bajillion other people on this planet who read The Hunger Games and anticipated the movie – so did I. I’m sort of in awe that SO MANY PEOPLE EVEN READ THE BOOKS. I mean, c’mon! Half the people who read it also read Twilight so I don’t even count them as fans (because they read it for that stupid love triangle stuff. Like, “OHMYGOSH, Team Peeta or Team Gale?!?” Neither, you idiot. I’m Team Haymitch simply because that guy is effortlessly cool.) Anyway, I’m not going to give a rundown on the whole movie, I’d just like to pop out what randomly pops into my brain (that last part makes it seem like I’m giving birth to idea babies or something.)

Aren’t they utterly adorable? They look like they couldn’t hurt a fly!

 

First off, I’d just like to say that if you haven’t read the book but liked the movie – good for you. Now, go read the book because the movie is only a fraction of how intense and descriptive Hunger Games really is. I promise you, it won’t be a disappointment. Secondly, I just like the book better. I’ll always like books better no matter what. I don’t expect a two-hour movie to completely encompass a 500 paged book. I felt the movie was enough for those who have read and understood the book. I don’t think it made everything clear enough for the everyday Hunger Games virgin, though. I really disliked the writing that began the film. The process and the background of the Hunger Games and the Reaping are so deep and almost complicated that to brush it off like it was a normal thing isn’t cool. I know a lot of people also complained about the shaky camera angles, too. I guess that was another big issue. My REAL issue was… well… how do I put this? Okay. Was it just me, or did a lot of things go unsaid? The dialogue was rather unspoken to me. There were numerous times Jennifer Lawrence just stared a bit blankly at something and the audience had to interpret what was going through her mind. I would have loved if they had a voice-over done at some points to make everything more clear. That was my biggest problem with the whole she-bang. 

Other than those minor details, the movie was good. It wasn’t my favorite, but it did the book justice and didn’t screw any key scenes up. I wish more would have happened. Because, let’s be honest, if they were worried about runtime they could’ve easily shaved off a solid 20 minutes of silence and scenery. But hey, not like I’m game maker or anything. Nope, I’m just some little girl who was more than excited to see the Reaping and games even take place on the big screen. All in all, I’m just happy it didn’t turn out like Twilight.

Feast Your Eyes On: Night of the Living Dead

Yes, you read correctly. I’ve decided to begin posting about zombie slasher films I love – some old, some new. This one just happens to be an oldie but goodie. So come along with me as we explore why you should enjoy and be grateful for this classic, and not to mention cannibalistic, film!

Original Poster for this bomb, motha-suckin' movie

Alright, so although there’s  a lot of good zombie flicks, (by good, I mean zombie movies in general. Most zombie movies are ridiculous enough without even mentioning the zombie factor!) this one will always hold a special place in my heart. I feel like this movie started somewhat of a revolution. You’ll see why soon, young grasshopper. Very soon.

Night of the Living Dead was originally released in 1968 by a little guy known as George Romero. Oh, never heard of him? He only paved the way for current zombie films and is worshipped by bajilions of horror geeks everywhere. No biggie. Seriously, though, George Romero is legend because of his cult classic films and amount of gore included in said films. You could say this movie was inspirational to ole George because he ended up making five other movies about a hypothetical zombie apocalypse ensuing. One trait I really love about Romero is that it’s not necessarily about the zombies being there that intrigues him. It’s the idea of how they got there. If you’ve watched any of his “Dead” films, you can see they usually begin with how all this zombie nonsense went down. I just love the explanations Romero can give, too. In Night of the Living Dead, a scientist speculates that radioactive contamination from a crashed space probe could be the cause of walking dead citizens… BAM! WHAT NOW, ZOMBIE SKEPTICS?  That could totally happen, in my opinion. Night of the Living Dead is a very believable film and situation: People, stuck in a house for the night, going mad while zombies begin to roam. It’s simple, scary, and intriguing.

I really don’t feel I need to give you readers a summary of the plot because I believe you should all watch it for yourselves. Beware of remakes, though. This movie is the absolute best in its campy, black and whiteness. I came upon this film only because I was preparing for a role in it. This movie is so awesome that someone decided to turn it into a play! My local community theatre staged a production of it awhile back and I had to audition, like any budding zombie enthusiast would. I got the role of Karen. Now, I don’t want to give any spoilers here but let’s just say she’s a bit of a double agent… for the dead. I’ll let you figure that one out, friends. Any who, I decided to rent the movie version to get a little background on the play. Bad idea. Very bad idea. I accidentally rented an absolutely terrible remake that made me want to laugh but also cry because my eyes had to see that mess of a movie. In time, I did find the real version and I liked it a lot more than that trash remake I got tricked into renting. Stupid Blockbuster, I’m glad you got canned. Family Video now satisfies my zombie needs, thank you very much.

I’ve grown to appreciate this film over the years because it is a part of horror history. This was one of the first films to be put into the “zombie” genre. Just about every zombie film you watch today has borrowed from Night of the Living Dead. The gore, suspense, action, fear, and crazy have all been included in this timeless flick. Now that’s what I call revolutionary and a jolly good show!

So, that last paragraph (or whatever you call it) concludes this post. I apologize if it was a little lacking or half-arsed. I’m in this sluggish, sleep-deprived zombie mood instead of quirky, kick-booty zombie mode now. I know didn’t give too much information about this movie but I’m sure you can do the research if you’re interested in the film OR the play. The play is actually a lot more entertaining just because seeing it live is always fun, I feel. Anyway,  I had this really insane, nagging urge to make a post today because I have, like, three zombie-lovin’ followers now so I must followthrough for them. (Hardy-har-har, Maddy just made a completely unrelated pun!) Yes, so I’m aware this post isn’t as fantastical as I’d like but I implore you to stay tuned for coming attractions! I have lots of ideas but little time at the moment for them. Just you wait, kiddies!

Well, other than that, I have nothing else to blog. Stay thirsty, my friends.

I don't always end my posts like this, but when I do...

Sims Humor

Just about soiled my pants when I saw this. I actually get this gaming joke. For once. Oh yeah!

On a more personal note, I feel the Sims 2 is hella better than the Sims 3. The Sims 3 makes you buy hairstyles! Hairstyles. You are paying money for a virtual person’s ponytail to look better. Think about that one while you still can, Sims 3 lovers.

Appreciation Post: All About Dia, A Little About Meg

Hello again! (Jeez, two posts in one day? You’d think I’m about to abandon the internet tomorrow!) So, I was thinking about all the stuff in the world that I like, and I like a lot, actually. I feel like there’s too much of what we hate on the internet, don’t you? No one ever has anything simply nice to say on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, whatever. One thing I do not like is reading everyone’s complaints and lopsided opinions on Facebook. It can make you so unhappy! So, I think I’ll begin making Appreciation Posts about all the things that I enjoy or just want to say, “Hey, you’re pretty awesome. I appreciate it!” about. I will now introduce one of my loves: Dia and Meg Frampton. Also known as the indie band of “Meg and Dia.” Dia is the lead singer while Meg does backup among other duties.

Here’s a video to one of their great covers:

http://youtu.be/lNTq2RY07N8

Ha! I lied, that’s actually just a link. Well, don’t be lazy – click it and it’ll take you to mystical areas of time and space!

After watching the video, you might remember Dia Frampton was one of the contestants on that talent show The Voice. I never watched it so I really don’t know how she did. I don’t really get why she even went on that show because she has, like, the best band in the history of groovy-cool bands. But she did. I still think she’s cool as bow ties, though. Meg and Dia’s music is all over iTunes and I suggest you take a listen to their latest album. My fav by them is either “Hug Me” or “Going Away.” 

While I was typing that last paragraph I had a great idea. If you have any music you’d like me to listen to I’d love to a music-swap. You listen to mine, I to yours. It’ll be grand. 

Well, I hoped you enjoyed that random post. I know I did! ( I actually didn’t. I just have to say that or my blog will get mad at me, shhh!)

Top 5 Zombie Slaying Games

Hi all! I’ve been playing a lot of my zombie games on Xbox recently and have decided to list my favorites. On a side note, I don’t feel there are enough good zombie games in the world as of late. So, if you feel like me – never fear! I’ve done my research (thank you, Google) and I’ve had some experience with all the games I’m about to blog about. Sit back, relax, and let me deal with rating the carnage and gore!

5. Resident Evil 5

Ironically, Resident Evil 5 is our FIFTH favorite game to play here at Zombie Confessional! (I know, I know, this is exciting. Just try to contain yourself next time you do something clever like this.)  Capcom is great at making all the Resident Evil installments but I chose this particular one because it’s available on Xbox 360 and has an off-line co-op option. I enjoy slaughtering zombies on the Xbox because it has a convenient controller and to be honest, most games are designed to be on systems like the Xbox – not the Wii. Plus, if you don’t have Xbox Live like myself, you can play with a buddy in the co-op mode! (Be warned though, one of you will have to play as Sheva the chick. You mad, sexist dudes?)

This game is set somewhere in the tribal lands of Africa. You play as former S.T.A.R.S. member Chris Redfield, who is set to apprehend some baddie who is most likely a terrorist. Your mission becomes a little more complicated when the native people, called Majini, start to attack. I’ve got to say, those Majini are darn menacing with their slow-quick paces and huge daggers of death. Apparently, game developers got in a little hot water for making these AFRICAN people black and having Chris kill them because they’re DERANGED ZOMBIES. I don’t know about you, but if I see a zombie – black OR white – its going down. In the well-known Resident Evil fashion, there are other creatures to kill and oh-so-challenging boss levels. This game definitely  takes some patience and walkthroughs, in my opinion. The reason this game is so challenging is because  it takes a lot of time and knowledge to solve all the puzzles and find all the enemies’ weak spots. In terms of believability, this game is as far-fetched as any other. Resident Evil always has a very solid storyline, though. Now I’ve never been to Africa, but who knows? Maybe crazed natives do try to eat you over there!

4. House of the Dead: Overkill

I think everyone can agree that this game is on so many levels of awesome. First of all, it’s an arcade-style first-person shooter game. So rejoice, all you nostalgia-lovers! It’s also incredibly fast-paced and witty; if you’re looking for a quick, entertaining game – this is it. The only problem I have with this game is that it’s only available on the Wii and Playstation 3. The Wii is terrible for zombie games. All you really have to do is mildly aim your controller and shoot with your zapper for an instant KO. Yes, it’s really that simple. So although this game is awesome, I won’t be giving it a better rating until it mans up and becomes available on other platforms.

This game is perfect to play with a fellow zombie-enthusiast or a skeptical friend. This co-op comedy is exactly what your non-believer friend needs to experience. You’ll be playing as Agent G (Want to know what the G stands for? Well, that’s classified.) and Detective Isaac Washington. Oh, one tiny thing I forgot to mention! This game is extremely foul in language and in situations. Yeah, I know, what do you expect in a zombie game, right? Well, just be aware this game is rated Mature for a reason – before you go picking it up to play with your innocent, zombie-lovin’ granny.

3. Dead Rising 1 & 2

Of course! What good zombie game list leaves these two out?! Dead Rising and Dead Rising 2 are both very entertaining in concept and execution. Now I have a confession: Up until yesterday, I’d never played Dead Rising. Before I actually played, I was awing over it on Youtube by watching some amazing LP videos by a guy called “LeadingManAE.” If you like zombies and have gamer-humour you should really check his videos out. Anyway, I was addicted. So I went to the video store yesterday and rented the first Dead Rising… and I discovered something. It’s hard as balls! I mean, really difficult! By rule of thumb, I rented it for the Xbox but now I feel as if I need to downgrade to the Wii version just to play. The Xbox 360 controls for the game are really off. I’d want to turn the main character’s, Frank’s, view and he ended up walking into zombies or I’d wanna hit something and I’d take a picture; stuff like that. It really frustrated me and I died multiple times because I couldn’t figure out how to get zombies off of me! Needless to say, the game’s been sitting in my living room untouched since my first try at it. I also don’t like that it excludes co-op play. I’m a big fan of playing with friends because, hey, how else are you going to practice teamwork for a zombie apocalypse? That’s right, you won’t – thanks to cool but confusing games like Dead Rising!

The same goes for Dead Rising 2 – I love the concept and the graphics look great, but I imagine it’s just as difficult as the first Dead Rising. Another idea about these games that terrifies me is that you’re timed and this affects the outcome of your game. “Hold the phone – you’re telling me that I’m given this HUGE mall to explore with THOUSANDS of weapons to use and make – but I have to worry about being places at specific times? No, sir, I enjoy playing my games with a sense of no responsibility or care. That’s how I play; I play to procrastinate,” said me when this was all explained.  Heck, I’m even procrastinating by typing this blog right now! Any who, for those of you smart enough to triumph at this game – I applaud you. For those of you who don’t really know about it – check out some videos or other blogs because it really is interesting. Both of these games definitely take time, cheats, walkthroughs, LPs, and patience to gain all the achievements and case objectives.

2. Dead Island

One of my personal favorites! Though I don’t know why; this game is very new, which means it still has a lot to learn. It’s is not offline co-op friendly. It can be played on Xbox, among many other platforms. To describe this game: If the second Dead Rising and the Left 4 Dead franchise had an exotic lovechild – this would be it. Dead Island incorporates the weapon building found in Dead Rising 2 but is also very open like Left 4 Dead games. The zombies in this game are killer, too. Literally. They’re fast-moving and will chase you pretty far down a road or beach. The Walkers won’t, of course, but those are dangerous as well. As you progress in this game, so do your enemies. They constantly level up as you do. You can also drive in this game! So three cheers for reckless hit and runs with zombies!

This game is set on the beautiful island of Banoi. After an opening scene that will never fail to make you feel like a badass, you find yourself in an abandoned hotel. As you start to explore your world, you find other survivors who depend on you to be their connection to the outside of wherever they’re hiding. To be honest, everyone you meet on this island is a wimp. In the beginning, you’re told you must be “immune” to the zombie bites because they found you hugging one or something like that. While it doesn’t mean your invincible, it does mean you can do everyone’s dirty work. I often feel like they just lied about that immunity thing. I mean, I would! “Yeah, this guy’s out cold. If he wakes up, I say we send him out. What do you mean he won’t go for it? Okay, just tell him he already got bit so he won’t be a wuss like the rest of us.” Typically, this game angers me for that reason but it’s still fun to play. The only real problem I have with my game is that from the very beginning it glitched and still glitches to this day. There are a lot of glitches the game makers need to fix, but other than that – I am game for this game!

1. Left 4 Dead 1 & 2

You guessed it. These games are awesome. If you didn’t, well, you must be a big Dead Rising fan, eh? Thought so. Too often the Dead Rising games are ranked above the Left 4 Dead franchise, and for what? Because there’s like a bajillion weapons and you can drive in Dead Rising? Well, okay, you’ve got a point but NO! These games have heart. They’ve got personality and a bunch of cool venues to massacre zombies in. Another major reason Left 4 Dead is the best: Both games have got online and offline co-op. This game is also set up in more of a free-roam style without boss levels or true objectives. The best kind of zombie game, I believe, is the kind you can just chill out and do whatever the dickens you want!

Valve was one clever cookie when they decided to create what you call “campaigns” for these games. The idea is that you have four main characters who are constant throughout all the campaigns. Your only main goal in a campaign is get to the safe houses, survive, and then survive some more while awaiting rescue at the very end of a campaign! I think these games are interesting, involved, and about as lighthearted as a zombie game can really be. There are different types of the dead that lurk about, trying to kill you. I’m almost positive Dead Island stole this idea from the Left 4 Dead games, but what can you do? I mean, we did get another awesome zombie game from it so who can complain! I actually don’t have any problems with this series except that they need to come out with a Left 4 Dead 3 sooner! This game is always fun to play with a friend because campaigns are usually short and sweet – well, save the “sweet” for another franchise because Left 4 Dead is anything but that!

Well, that’s all I have for my zombie favorites. If you think I’m wrong or want me to correct something on this Top 5 then leave a comment! If you think I’m right or want to know more about one of these games then leave a comment! If anything, just leave a comment. Also, don’t forget to follow this blog if you want more of this in your life… because I know you do. Who doesn’t want more gore, horror, and games in their lives?

What Exactly Have You Gotten Yourself Into?

Friends, colleagues, former and current lovers… Hello. Hello to everyone who might come upon this post out of boredom or intrigue. Hello to the Internet because I haven’t formally met you yet. Hello, finally, to all those zombies out there who are just waiting to be discovered: You’ve just met your match. Hello. I am Maddy, the maker of this blog and zombie enthusiast. The truth is, I have no clue as to what or who zombies are. I feel zombies are a neutral and philosophical point in conversation: “If zombies really were to attack, what would you do? ” Morgan Freeman would question. “I would survive. No matter what,” He’d whisper to himself softly. Like so many others, in this hypothetical situation, Morgan Freeman questions what would happen if an apocalypse occurred. Well, to me, it’s never be an “if.” It’s more of a “when will zombies decide to come out of hiding and dine on our flesh? Oh man, I hope it’s not on like a holiday or something. That’d just be rude.” So yes, that’s just a bit of my opinion on life. I try to add a little humor into every day stuff and I also am a huge film/game freak. I also love media gossip so that might be included on this blog, also. I’d advise you not to take anything on this blog too seriously. I’d like to think my humor is well-delivered but I’ve been known to dead-pan a few over-dramatic statements a little too well. So in conclusion, don’t believe me because 95% of the time I’m making poorly formulated jokes and be sure to follow me because I’m willing to make our blogger/reader relationship work if you do. Yes, all you have to do is follow and I’ll be there for you, bro. I’ll probably also be there if you don’t follow just because I’m awkward like that…

Well, that sums up what I wanted to say in my first ever blog post so I hope you either enjoyed reading it or enjoyed it (I’m aware it was definitely “TL;DR” worthy) And with that, I’ll say goodbye until next time!